Puppies!

I found this article about Empty Nesters who buy puppies.

“'People who are empty nesters but 10 years away from having grandchildren are saying it’s time for a fur baby.' He says people in their 50s have the urge to 'fill the void' for a number of reasons. One is the human need to nurture."

And then I realized that two children moved out of my mom's house and she bought two new dogs [above] Sweet Pea and Harry Socks...

Best hope for a poor black child

When thinking about Precious and The Blind Side, I didn't really think about the role that family plays in them until I read this article.

"Both movies tell stories that suggest a way out of poverty, brutality and domestic calamity for certain lucky individuals while saying very little about how those conditions might be changed."

"Both locate the problems facing their main characters in the failure of families — of mothers in particular — and find solutions in better families, substitute mothers"

"we love stories of heroic educators, coaches and moms who change the lives of poor, marginalized children by teaching them hard work and self esteem."

"the best hope for a poor black child in America is to have rich white parents."

Even though I haven't seen these movies, I've been thinking a lot about them. In real life, it is wonderful that Big Mike found a way out of a horrible situation thanks to the unbelievable kindness of a surrogate family. That support allowed him to find his way. But something about putting it in a movie turns it into a white/black thing. This poor black child succeeded because a rich white family took pity on him. Precious is a little less about race; by that I mean that her savior is not a white family. but a constructed family: a social worker, fellow at-risk students, etc. Either way, I think it's important that having a supportive family becomes the catalyst these characters need to change their lives.

If anyone's actually seen these movies, feel free to disagree/ agree with me.

Dog Whisperer

This is funny: Calm but Assertive.

As you probably know, I really love the dog whisperer. I apply a lot of his beliefs when managing a class and plan to apply them to parenthood as well. This is an article from The New York Times pointing out that many parents are turning to Caesar Milan for parenting tips. hehe!

This has nothing to do with my blog.

This is totally unrelated but kinda funny.

Marshmallow Experiment

I was reading about when children are ready to go to school and in the Middle Ages, they were deemed ready when they passed the apple test: they had to have enough foresight to choose a coin over an apple. Weird.

Sharing Stress

Job Woes Exacting a Toll on Family Life

This article outlines the toll it takes on the family when one or both parents are unemployed.

"But beneath the surface, they have been a family on the brink. They have watched their children struggle with behavioral issues and a stress-induced disorder."

"Children, especially, have become hidden casualties, often absorbing more than their parents are fully aware of."

"A variety of studies have tied drops in family income to negative effects on children’s development."

Children are so in-tune to changes in their family dynamics. The daughter in the family featured in this article ended up pulling her hair out {side note, on nip/tuck, the daughter pulled her hair out and ate it! ahh! also from family stress}. I think that my sister may have done this her whole life. Because my parents were divorced before my sister's second birthday, she grew up in a very stressful household. I can definitely see how she reflected that stress. I guess we all absorb the stress that our family's feeling, though. Not just financial stress.

Modern Family!!

I've been watching Modern Family and laughing out loud. It's hilarious. My roommate doesn't like it as much as me because he gets stressed out thinking about having a life like the ones depicted in the show. I think because it's all about the family and trying to get along and raising teenagers. blech.

But it is a great show and interesting because the show is exclusively about their home lives. It doesn't show them at work or introduce many friends. And yet there is enough material investigating these familial relationships and how complicated families can be to make an entertaining show.

Watch it!

More stats

Number of houses in Baltimore:

Male householder, no wife present, family

12,255

5.2%

Female householder, no husband present, family

54,186

23.0%

I always wondered what that number was.

Number of houses in Greenville, SC:

Male householder, no wife present, family

7,423

4.6%

Female householder, no husband present, family

20,476

12.6%

2005-2007 Census Findings in Baltimore

PERCENTAGE OF FAMILIES AND PEOPLE WHOSE INCOME

IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS IS BELOW THE POVERTY LEVEL

Married couple families

6.6%

Families with female householder, no husband present

28.8%

More fun statistics here.

More stats

MARITAL STATUS
Population 15 years and over	221,148,671	100.0%
Never married	59,913,370	27.1
Now married, except separated	120,231,273	54.4
Separated	4,769,220	2.2
Widowed	14,674,500	6.6
Female	11,975,325	5.4
Divorced	21,560,308	9.7
Female	12,305,294	5.6

I can't believe that 54.4% of everyone over 15 is married. This is incredibly reassuring to me. I've grown up in a single-parent household and have just assumed that I will be divorced eventually. I am just so surprised right now that that many people are married and not divorced! 27.1% of everyone has never been married, so the divorce rate is not as high as I thought it was in my head.

My experience seeing my parents separate has absolutely shaped my views of divorce. It is so normal to me and I can see how easily it can happen that I'm kinda surprised that so many people can do it [marriage].

Family Support America

http://www.familysupportamerica.org/

This organization gives advice about adoption, how to not lash out at children, children and divorce, finding daycare, etc.

Marriage earns money for divorce.

These are two signs that make me smile.

Family Dinners

The Guilt-Trip Casserole: The Family Dinner

"Teenagers who eat with their families less than three times a week are more likely to turn to alcohol, tobacco and drugs than those who dine with their families five times a week."

"Like breastfeeding and Baby Mozart tapes, family dinner has become a red-hot item on the good-parent scorecard."

"But as parents go to ever more breathless effort, or feel ever more guilt-ridden, are we becoming too literal-minded about 'family dinner'?"

"'To say that family dinners are associated with good outcomes is not the same as saying that family dinners cause good outcomes,' wrote Dr. Cowan, who has studied families."

I thought it was interesting that teenagers are less likely to turn to drugs and alcohol if they have regular family dinners. I have not found that to be the case (my family has dinners together regularly, and my siblings...)

But it makes sense that if teens don't get that family, that sense of belonging, that they would turn to something else. I've always heard this was true in terms of why some teens turn to gangs. That sense of belonging. I think it's important that not only as future parents we address this, but as future teachers. Give your students a place to belong so they don't need to turn elsewhere.

Fractured Familes

I came across this article in the UCLA magazine titled, "The Fractured Family", It seems that even traditional nuclear families are having a harder time of it these days.

"the traditional nuclear family represented only 24 percent of American households"!!!

" [Adults are] taking on more to do in less time, with research showing that dual-income parents now work more than 90 hours a week combined."

"family members were all together in the same room only 14 percent of the time."

White Mothers

As someone in a very secure, long-term interracial relationship, I am on a fast track to having and raising biracial children. I am not sure, because I'm not biracial, but I worry that my children will have to deal with race in ways that white children in white families and black children in black families don't have to. They may notice differences between the races earlier and will have to deal with prejudice from both sides of the fence. I will love them and support them to the best of my ability, but I think I need to admit that there are some issues that I won't be able to help them with. Two books that deal with this topic beautifully are

The Color of Water by James McBride and

Dreams of My Father by Barack Obama (the young man in the photo).

In both books, the authors are raised by single white mothers left dealing with parenthood and racial tensions. James McBride's mother takes a unique route and just denies that she is white, she's "just light skinned." Even though I think that's really funny, I hope that there is a way for interracial families to discuss race without anyone denying their racial background.

Single Mother

Images of Madonna and Child kept popping up when I searched for "family" in artstor. I thought that was funny.

This is a project that William Wegman did (the guy who photographs the dogs).  He overlapped photos of himself, his father, and his mother.  Most of his work doesn't deal with familial issues, but this set of photographs interested me in relation to my topic.  The merging of a couple and their child.  How united and similar the members of a family can be.  I know that if I did this with my two parents (My grandmother and mother), you wouldn't be able to tell the six frames apart.

  

Now I was reluctant to show Sally Mann photos because she's an easy artist to cite.  But these images bring up some interesting sides of her family.  

What are your expectations as a mother and your responsibility to your children?  

How can the perception of the same person in your family change based on the way you represent them? Whether it's in a photo or the specific stories you choose to tell about that person.  

How are you perceiving your family vs. how other people are perceiving your family?

Census Press Release

“Just over two-thirds (67 percent) of the nation’s 73.7 million children younger than 18 lived with two married parents in 2006.”

That means that 33% of our children live in a single-parent household.

The Jolie-Pitt family.  Just another shining 

example of a non-traditional family. 

Modern Family.

A show about families with a non-traditional setup.  It’s so interesting that this is the premise for the show.  I guess it’s always more interesting to watch a family that is slightly dysfunctional.  Or maybe one that you’d assume to be dysfunctional and then find out that it works.

Disney Movies and T.V. Shows with Non-traditional Families:

Snow White

Pinocchio (adoption by a single parent)

Dumbo

Bambi (absent father)

Cinderella (step mother)

101 Dalmations (adoption)

The Little Mermaid

Beauty and the Beast

Toy Story

Tarzan (adoption)

Hunchback of Notre Dame (adoption after murdering his mom)

Aladdin (orphan)

Hercules (adoption)

Parent Trap

The Jungle Book (adoption by wolves, maybe the winner)

Famous Jett Jackson (divorced parents)

Smart Guy

Life with Derek (two single parent families merge, a la Brady Bunch)

The Suite Life of Zach and Cody

Hannah Montana

Cory In The House

And almost every made for T.V. Disney movie…